Out with the old, in with the new.

She managed to get the key in the lock and open the door. She took a few steps into the room before she collapsed onto a kitchen chair.

“My God, that was a party and a half.”

Michael came over to her.

“Are you okay? You smell of booze. You’re drunk.”

“So what’s your excuse?”

“Jesus, Angie. What’s this about? Where’ve you been? What’s happened?”

“New year, babe. New year. Saying goodbye to the old. That’s you. And saying hello to the new. That’s Eric Thompson if you need to know.”

“You’re drunk, Angie. Let’s get you to bed.”

She looked at him. “You’re finished, Michael. Let’s get you out of my flat.”  And turned to the still open doorway. “Come inside Eric Thompson and help me throw this pile of shit out. It’s time for him to go.”

And in walked Eric Thompson. “Happy new year, Michael. Angie says time for you to go.”

Later that night, just before dawn, in a small forest clearing just beyond the edge of town, Michael paused in his digging to marvel at the way in which an ordinary kitchen knife can play such an extraordinary part in the lives (and deaths) of everyday people.

© Patrick Prinsloo

Written for wednesday-write-in-21

Aside | This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Out with the old, in with the new.

  1. (a thrust) and a twist! Cold-hearted guy, that Michael.

  2. Elaine Peters says:

    I like your natural dialogue and the way you play around repeating phrases. Snappy ending wraps up the piece in an unexpected way which I really like but it could be a bit abrupt after the style that came before. A picky PS – I might have swapped ‘ordinary’ and ‘everyday’ around, or changed ‘people’ to ‘folk’ – I just didn’t like ‘everyday people’ somehow.

    • Patrick says:

      Thanks Elaine. I think you are right about swapping ordinary and everyday. I’m interested in your comment re the ending. It was originally meant to end with “Angie says it’s time for you to go”, but I felt it was incomplete and I added the last bit at the last minute. Different mood, different style! Well spotted.

      • Elaine Peters says:

        I was thinking perhaps Michael picking up the knife and saying ‘No, Angie, it’s time for someone to go, but it’s not me. Happy new year to you too,’ as he slits her throat!

      • Elaine Peters says:

        I was thinking Michael picking up a knife and saying: ‘No, Angie, it’s not me going anywhere, it’s you. Happy new year,’ as he slits her throat. Or maybe Eric’s. Or both, then go and bury them in the woods!

  3. kiwirebecca says:

    I really liked how she tells him he’s out. I’m glad Michael got his back. loved the ending.

  4. Elaine McKay says:

    I found the way she broke news hilarious and awful. The fact the other guy is standing at the door is darkly funny too. Did you consider the two of them murdering Michael? Just a thought. Really enjoyed this.

    • Patrick says:

      The two murdering Michael? A possibility. But how to end it? Is Angie a serial killer? Should Eric Thompson be watching his back? There’s a story there, somewhere.

      • Elaine McKay says:

        I had them down as a pair of ‘Natural Born Killers’ as the first part has a contemporary and edgy feel!

I'd love to read what you think ...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s