Author Archives: patrickprinsloo

Lockdown

He’d been in lockdown for five weeks; it was getting to him. The only time out of the house had been to the post box, the only human contact was with the people who delivered the food parcels (baked beans, … Continue reading

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Pile ’em high

The cure, he said, can be found at the end of the rainbow. Ignore that old shepherd’s tale that there’s a crock of gold to be found; that’s a load of sheepshit. Until then, he said, you can stave off … Continue reading

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Murder Most Fowl

“Let him call his lawyer. He’s already confessed.” “Sparrow? Was there a witness?” “Yep. Fly, with his little eye, he saw him die.” “Any forensics to support our case?” “Bow and arrow are being dusted for prints. Fish collected blood … Continue reading

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Sunny side up

It is mistakenly held by the locals that the bodies of missing Rudi Rogers and Fifi Fantasia, bottle-blonde and always generous waitress, would be found if anyone were to smash open the concrete pedestal holding up the 1972 Oldsmobile 442, … Continue reading

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RIP Spartacus

Spartacus hadn’t been in Hollywood for all that long when he was spotted in the Gladiator night club by a sharp-eyed talent scout. He protested that he could speak only Latin and a smidgen of Turkish (another beer please; has … Continue reading

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Hot Lover

  He could tell from the way she held a needle that this babe was hot. He invited her onto the dance floor and to the frenzied beat of the B52s they discussed safety pins, button holing, quilt making, zip … Continue reading

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Once upon a time

Nowadays we can’t see the wood for the trees. Or the trees for that matter. Ever since reading hard copy books exploded as the world’s major leisure activity, coinciding with the success of literacy programmes in less developed countries, there … Continue reading

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Suus ‘sera numquam est ad discendum

He hadn’t studied Classics but he reckoned he knew enough to get by. Mention the Elgin Marbles and he’d picture them in his mind’s eye. He’d smile whenever he heard, ‘Aeì koloiòs parà koloiôi hizánei’ or ‘Apò toû hēlíou metástēthi’. … Continue reading

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Denial

  They’ve started shipping out the corpses in trains, taking them up north, stopping at any starving hamlet or town that will do some burials for 50kg of flour a body. The empty sacks are used as shrouds. When the … Continue reading

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The Nail Bar

  “Windows to the soul,” she said, “Forget the eyes, it’s the hands. Our hands are always out there, gesticulating, signposting, shaping, emphasising, assenting, dissenting, framing our language. Hands? They’re the divas of our existence, the celebrities of our id, … Continue reading

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