The Salesman’s Script

Image: Wikipedia

Wanna buy a watch? Here, take a look at this – it’s my last one, already sold six this afternoon.
Listen to that tick, a real Swiss tick, not like that Japanese stuff, Swiss, honestly the real McCoy, listen, tick, tick, tick, you hear that?
Whoops, don’t look, is that the rozzers, bloody nuisance they are, don’t understand the market, nah, we’re okay, false alarm.
You remember that burglary at Boodles last year, the place on Hatton Street, the Royals shop there, you don’t remember? It was all over the papers, stuff worth millions, I tell yer millions. No, you didn’t? Ah well, it was big news, had the rozzers on the hop, questions were asked in parliament, the loot never found, can’t trust nobody these days, bleeding tea leaves everywhere. Look at that face, oyster, the real thing, from the China Sea, pukka stuff.
Whoops again, don’t look around, nah, another false alarm. So the insurance company does a deal with Boodles, yeah, great strap, genuine ostrich, and all the gear comes back on the market and I manages to get some at a good price, not cheap, nah, never cheap, but a good price, a fair price.
I mean, forty seven jewels, no less, that’s forty seven, now where else can you find that sort of thing nowadays for less than a grand, I mean to say, let’s be honest.
No, no, no, wait, I have good contacts and I got this stuff at an honest price, seeing as it’s the last one and I’ve got to visit my missus in hospital in twenty five, I can let this one go for two fifty, a real bargain. Feel the weight of that.
Yeah, yeah, I can come down a bit, try that on yer wrist, a perfeck fit, don’t yer reckon, comfy eh, okay one fifty, cash mind you, and yer bleeding me dry, but you look honest and deserve something good in life, so yeah, no, what? fifty only, that’s bleeding robbery.
Whoah, the rozzers, okay fifty, give me the cash, hold on that’s only thirty, what you mean that’s all you have, on my life, quickly take the bleeding thing. Now get before those rozzers put the arm on you.

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