Image copyright: Al Forbes
“The three guys in the back are shouting, ‘Faster, faster, overtake, overtake.’ They’re seriously wasted. We all are. Even Gemma, two weeks outta school, first tattoo still scabbing, first jaunt with us older dudes. Drinking vodka. Neat! Vodka – it’s a Russian drink.”
“I know,” said St Peter.
“Of course.
“And then we come to a long straight stretch and I give it some juice. The needle touches eighty. The front left tyre blows. Pow!”
“I know,” said St Peter. “Now, that’s enough about you. Move along. Collect your wings from Hut 3.
“And do something about that bird-cage breath.”
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ weekly 100 word challenge found here.
patrickprinsloo 
Interesting story, but St. Peter would have probably worked better as an ending twist. Good writing, though Patrick. 🙂 — Suzanne
I’m glad there’s a caring deity who’s all about forgiveness. I need a bunch of that. Are you familiar with the song, “Rusty Old Halo” by Hoyt Axton? Give me those 2nd hand wings full of patches.
Never heard of him, but I’ve just downloaded best of from Amazon. I recognise some of the music. Thanks for this. Isn’t FF wonderful!
Heck! I like Saint Peter where he is, but agree that it would work just as well if he were introduced later. I enjoyed the story very much either way. Well done.
So, you think Patrick gave away the punchline a little too early? Maybe so.
Made me grin! 🙂
Ah. Thank you.
Good!
Good take on the prompt, very original
Thank you.
That opening really rocks! Lots of pace and tension.
As to introducing St. Peter later, there’s a story producer Irwin Allen told about wanting to make a movie called, The Big Circus. He went to Harry Cohn, founder of Columbia Pictures to discuss the script and Cohn threw it down and said, “This is a piece of —-, Allen.”
“Um, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Cohn?”
“You know that a——e on page 19 that walks across Niagara Falls on a tightrope?”
“Yes.”
“Put him on page 49 and you got a deal!”
You see? Wisdom. 😉
Five out of five Churches of St. Taffy. 😉
Great litle anecdote. And lots of wisdom indeed.
Churches of St. Taffy???
Of all people, Russell, YOU never heard that joke? It’s actually an anecdote, maybe real, maybe not, but has been known to happen in broadcasting. The announcement on the radio was supposed to be, “There’s going to be a taffy pulling contest at the Church of St. Peter.” Now, reverse it and you have the answer.
Dear Patrick,
Maybe it’s just me, but I like the introduction of St. Peter early i the story. I can see him calmly listening to the new arrival’s frantic blather and saying, “I know.” Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle. Blather describes it well (not my story!)
I like your take. Nicely done.
Thank you. Kind words.
Have to agree with Neil on this one… if you left the first one go, we can wonder who is talking!
But I want you to know I really liked it!!
Thank you. But did you see my response to Neil?
Routine. Re his colitis I think
Sent from my iPhone
>
Indeed
you give the story away by introducing St Peter at the beginning
I agree… 😉
I think the story is about forgiveness, redemption, and absolution and the place of we mere and flawed mortals in a universe created and watched over by a supreme and caring deity.
St Peter is merely a side show; he probably doesn’t exist. And I won’t patronise you by explaining to you the metaphorical function of the wings, or Hut 3, for that matter.
That’s a lot to pack into 100 words
Can’t argue with that one! 😉