Image copyright: Erin Leary
“It appears we’ve totally screwed up the planet, Your Eminence. All that burning of fossil fuels over the last century, the way we ravaged the forests, polluted the waterways, killed all the insects by spraying and destroyed their habitats, overgrazed the pastures, genetically modified the crops instead of nursing the soil, carpeted most of the planet’s surface with concrete and tar.”
“So?”
“It’s a problem, Sire. We’ve run out of food. Nothing left to eat. Not even water lilies. The peasants are revolting.”
“And you recommend…?”
“Earth, Sire. Invade, colonize, rape, pillage, burn.”
“Sounds like fun. Fetch me my armour.”
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ weekly 100 word challenge found here.
patrickprinsloo 
Great surprise twist, Patrick. It sounds as though they might have become us. There have got to be more planet wreakers than us if you search far enough. Dark humor and well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
We have met the enemy and he is us!
Had me fooled, thought you were talking about Earth, sad to know we aren’t the only fools out there.
What little we have left here… sounds like our peeps are the same type as Planet Nine’s…
“Uh-uh. We’ve got some problems, sire.”
“What now?”
“The Earth’s no good, either.”
Good suggestion. That’s probably what really happened.
I hope so.. The Earth’s already got tons of problems to deal with anyway. 😀
So is this your take on what the fabled ninth planet that they announced a week or so is like? 🙂 If so, we’d better get our defenses ready.
It is the recent ninth – our scientists are keeping secrets from us.
What a story to parallel the reality here on Earth, which will no doubt disappoint these characters. Great job!
They’ll have to move on, I imagine.
Plant #9 is going to be disappointed…the earthlings have left for Mars already. Nice cautionary tale.
Bring back Pluto; I always had a soft spot for that lot.
Nice cautionary tale. Thanks.
Too late methinks. Thanks for popping by.
Hah. They will find the most willing allies here to go and exploit the rest of the solar system, and galaxy, and universe… Great message, packed into funny.
Will Donald die his hair green in solidarity?
Oh boy is he in for a disappointment… I wonder if earth are making similar plans.?
Do we make plans? Doesn’t seem so.
Oh dear. They sound so familiar – they know exactly what’s gone wrong and why, and there they go keen to do the same thing all over again. So well told, and I love the twist at the end.
Couldn’t happen here.
They better get here quick or there won’t be any point in them even making the trip!
It’ll be a real waste of whatever fuel they use.
There’s no denying that.
So much evil..so little resources. 😦
Succinct, if I may say so.
What a delightful twist at the end. And here I thought the conversation was happening on earth. Well played.
Ah, these aliens.
Oh not a very happy bunch when they find out there’s nothing here too.
Loved it.
Thank you.
Nicely done. Great twist at the end and was that a “History of the World Part I” reference I caught in there?
Hmm. Not an intentional reference. Haven’t seen it. Thanks for reading.
It’s possibly my favorite Mel Brooks film. Filled with great one liners.
Imagine their surprise upon arriving! This is one awesome story, Patrick!
Thanks. They’ll be terribly disappointed.
If there was ever going to be an abortive mission, this is it. Nicely and ironically executed Patrick.
Thanks Sandra. Their spies seem to have got it wrong.
Dear Patrick,
I hope they’re not too late. We’ve done a fair amount of our own land-rape and pillaging on planet Earth.
Shalom,
Rochelle
They are too late. No water lilies here either.