Black, no sugar

Image copyright: Jean L. Hays

Image copyright: Jean L. Hays

He sipped his coffee. He wanted to speak to the redhead two tables away, but worried about his motives. He worried that she, others, might perceive them as ulterior, as base, as self-serving. He worried that she, they, might be right.

He thought to take advice, called the waitress over, asked her. She summoned colleagues, beckoned over the manager. They discussed, debated, brought in a customer just about to leave, another just arriving. An off-duty nurse joined in. Small screens were accessed, search engines consulted. Brows were furrowed, ears tugged, hands waved.

The redhead turned a page, sipped her coffee.


Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ weekly 708 word challenge found here.

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49 Responses to Black, no sugar

  1. Hilarious, Patrick. I can just picture all that going on and the girl just sitting calmly and reading. She must have a terrific power of concentration. Congratulations to the author of the book.Well done. ๐Ÿ˜€ — Suzanne

  2. gahlearner says:

    Heh, this is great fun. They probably decide narrator should risk it after she’s left already. However, to me it looks as if she waits for the narrator to move.

  3. Bastet says:

    Poor guy .. I’ve actually known people like this (maybe a little less “concentrated”) who will ask for assistance from everyone and their cousin before they’ll take a step. Nice metaphor here if you think about it and an entertaining write.

  4. That really made me laugh, Patrick. I could just picture it, with everyone involved except the girl herself, who is oblivious. Great story.

  5. ottilliah says:

    Wonderful that she’s not aware of the drama going on.

  6. lillian says:

    ….first there was one….then another……then another…..and they put all their heads together….over one redhead! Can hear the cacophony of whispers…..amazing she stayed! ๐Ÿ™‚ Fun one.

  7. I have a feeling that the only one that could have answered the question would have been the redhead… but alas you never consult the expert until it’s too late.

  8. What a great picture you’ve painted here. I’m sure she was peeping from the corner of her eye!

    Visit Keith’s Ramblings!

  9. Margaret says:

    Lovely description of the gathering group of collaborators. I’m sure the redhead’s having a good laugh behind her book.

  10. LOL. I enjoyed this immensely. The funny thing is that I can see it happening.

  11. rogershipp says:

    Poor guy needs WAY TOO MUCH assistance. She better keep to her book!

  12. The subtle humour in this is fantastic.

  13. justmaria says:

    In a parallel world, women do this most often. Such picturesque tale you got, Patrick. ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. Dale says:

    Life keeps moving forward whether you act or not; opportunities lost while over-thinking and analysing!

  15. Odds are …
    Life is what happens while you’re making plans.
    Happy New Year Patrick

  16. His anxiety is very palpable.
    Well written. ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. MissTiffany says:

    Love all of his anxious overthinking…how many of us have been in that same position? But at some point you just have to take the leap.

  18. Sandra says:

    I could just see them all, agitatedly considering the position while the cool redhead sips on, as though nothing was going on. Great idea.

  19. calm yourself and just try! but even i indulge in overthinking. great approach! thank you.

  20. Great, I love the over-analysis – he could have just risked a slap

  21. ceayr says:

    Superbly constructed little anecdote.
    Great slice of life.

  22. Dear Patrick,

    It seems to me that he should simply go over and strike up a conversation with the redhead. Let the chips fall where they may. Too many cooks and all. Nice one.



  23. You’d think she would at least notice the commotion!
    Must be an awful good book.

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