All Is Calm

Image copyright: Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Image copyright: Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

It’s peaceful outside; it’s peaceful inside; even the radio’s switched off – too much Silent Night and Good King Wenceslas. It’s the calm before the storm, it’s the tidy house before the guests arrive; it’s the sparkling kitchen before the cooking starts.

Let’s see who’s invited: eight adults, not all on speaking terms, one stone deaf, another selectively deaf, one alcoholic, one melancholic; six feral children including two loud and incoherent toddlers. Aunt Macey has a wheat intolerance, Tom is a vegetarian, young Jeff is a vegan.

It’s going to be turkey, roast vegetables and gravy. And no carols.

Bah humbug!

 

Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ weekly Friday Fictioneers one hundred word challenge.

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49 Responses to All Is Calm

  1. Margaret says:

    This is fantastic. I love it. I feel exactly like your narrator, except I’ll be a guest this year, not hostess, so I’ve been spared the bulk of the cooking and cleaning, This year we’re meeting some new sort-of-step teenaged grandkids (figure that out if you can), so that’ll be interesting.

  2. Nice descriptive scene Patrick – the prologue to a story that will be played out in many homes this week!

  3. My house! My rules! Put that in you fa la la and smoke it! Lol

  4. Poor host can;t be asked to cater to their needs.
    Bah humbug indeed.

  5. ansumani says:

    ha ha – the descriptions of the guest was hilarious. Poor vegans – the menu is not very accomodating.

  6. rgayer55 says:

    I love the “feral children” line. I consider these events pre-planned chaos. Looking forward to it, but can’t wait until it’s over. Well done, Patrick.

  7. Amy Reese says:

    Ha! That sounds like a family get-together all right. What will the vegetarian and the vegan eat? I like how you included both of these. Great details all around!

  8. mjlstories says:

    Best of times, worst of times and what would we do without it? Great piece Patrick.

  9. The Voice says:

    Love it! Who cannot relate to that bunch? Holidays and family. Bah humbug indeed! Great piece.

  10. Dear Patrick,

    Your story is all too true to life. Well written with delightful, if not disturbing descriptions, ie ‘feral children.’ Lot of attitude in that phrase. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  11. Aah. The typical family gathering. I love it.
    Randy

  12. elmowrites says:

    Oh dear, it all dseems to be going so well until the family arrives. Lovely descriptions – esecially the pairings on the aunts. The ending seems a bit terse by comparison, especially the line about the food. I’d have liked something linking it back to the various dietary requirements, but that’s the only bit I’d think of changing. Great stuff!

    • Interesting comments – I wanted to do more with the food but she-who-must-be-obeyed says only 100 words. I’ll give it some thought though. Sotto voce: maybe rebel a little.

  13. The true spirit of Christmas. Bet it’ll be fun at your house. I read that quickly as ‘incontinent toddlers’ which might be slightly worse.

  14. misskzebra says:

    Your story is actually making me dread Christmas! A very familiar scene to many! I also love the “feral children” remark.

  15. I love how it’s calm now, and then you set the scene for what’s coming – nicely done. And also the alcoholic / melancholic bit – lovely.

  16. Sandra says:

    Sounds like the kind of christmas I used to endure. Chillingly so. Well done.

  17. And what a view from the kitchen window, too!

  18. C – Six feral children, Egads. I like the way you set the empty stage before releasing chaos upon us.

  19. ceayr says:

    Nicely written piece, Patrick, although I suspect it is not entirely fictional.

  20. Nortina S. says:

    “six feral children…” I literally laughed out loud at that one! This is sure to be an interesting Christmas dinner!

  21. C It sounds like the beginning of a family reunion from hell… but I guess it’s worth the price to make the suffering as short as possible… I love the internal rhymes and the reference to the Dickens. It works perfect

  22. Joy Pixley says:

    Ha ha, I love the descriptions of the family members! Selectively deaf might be an excellent coping strategy in that bunch.

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