Tickets, Please

Image copyright: Jennifer Pendergast

Image copyright: Jennifer Pendergast

They meet on the Orient Express, two sweet young things squeezing past each other in the cupid corridor, soon exchanging mmmmsweetnuthin’s (and more) in her narrow bunk. Exotic scenery ignored.

Later the rushed honeymoon – back to Istanbul (of course), tickets in hand. All aboard! Erotic rhythm on shiny steel tracks. Conception inevitable.

Flash forward. They return to resuscitate the passion, heal wounds, put aside hurts and infidelities. The coaches are shabby, the meals dull, the bunk too narrow. Time is unkind.

Before they even reach reach Paris they’re agreed. Divorce, not murder.

They text their lovers: “Game on!”

Back from travels and written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers 100 word challenge.

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29 Responses to Tickets, Please

  1. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Patrick, This is absolutely like a “Hitchcock” movie. Brilliant! Wow – I’m speechless! Thanks for the exotic, breathless ride! Nan 🙂

  2. Mike says:

    Erotic story alright!

  3. Ha.. just coming from a long train ride I couldn’t imagine making love on a train.

  4. I’d say if their respective lovers were both there waiting in the wings already, they had no hope of rekindling anything with each other. Wonderful story – I love how you used the rhythm of the train.

  5. Dale says:

    Too bad they didn’t try to rekindle a little sooner… they may have had a chance! Then again, if one looks only for the mad rush of the beginning, they are bound to be disappointed…

  6. elmowrites says:

    Ouch, painful rush through a relationship to the bitter end. Or perhaps not so bitter if they are agreed…

  7. Dear Patrick,

    I feel like I’ve been taken for a ride. Fast, furious and well written, sir. Welcome back.



  8. gahlearner says:

    Too sad that such a sensual beginning goes the way of too many ‘dulled by routine’ relationships. Great story, I liked every detail.

  9. This is beautiful. The beat of your words has the rhythm of a train.

  10. Liz Young says:

    How many relationships start with passion and end with dullness? Such a shame but someohw inevitable. The idea of sex on a moving vehicle has always been an erotic one!

  11. Divorce, not murder….always a good decision.

  12. Great read! enjoyed it.

  13. Love this! Perfect style for the piece (and I like the Peggy Lee ref too!).

  14. Sandra says:

    I loved this. The progress of the relationship in the metaphor of the train. Well done. (Exotic scenery flashes/rushes by – unfinished edit?)

    • Thanks for that.
      Unfinished edit indeed. Too much olive oil, Italian wine and REAL tomatoes. I changed it to ‘ignored’ – better reflects what’s happening.

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