“See that guy over there – in the silver shirt – he’s a regular here. Name’s Billy Trout. Thinks he’s cool. Watch him. See how he shoots his cuffs, top four shirt buttons undone, David Niven moustache. Watch him try his luck with those chicks. See how he’s chatting them up. They’re smiling. He thinks he’s got ‘em hooked, starts reeling in. Now watch: they’re laughing, at him, not with him. He’s just told them his name.
“Imagine, a guy with the name Trout sporting a mullet. Someone should shoot his barber. Do him a favour. Do us all a favour.