Peas in a Pod

This for Sunday Photo Fiction 200 word challenge.

From very young we were treated as a fivesome.

Mom would say, “You kids, you’re so close.”

Aunt Nettie would agree, “It’s good to see cousins being such friends.”

Uncle Bert would clear his throat, wipe his eyes, “I wish I had had mates I could rely on like youse all have.”

They all said we even looked alike, that Granddad Tom’s genes dominated. Teachers and bus drivers sometimes couldn’t tell us apart. Peas in a pod, people would say.

And we always did well; we were winners, survivors, fated to achieve, to accomplish. Golden boys.

We were inseparable. Bound by invisible wires – inviolable and sacred links.

When it came to games, we were always selected as a group. “Watch these five guys, see how they work together, see how they support each other,” Coach would say.

The recruiting sergeant snapped us up.

“You men are a team, you have each other’s backs,” said the lieutenant who made us black up, and sent us behind enemy lines.

Except, when the shooting started, when the bullets were flying, god mislaid the rulebook. Forgot we were golden. I was blessed; the other four died.

Make that another double, will you.

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16 Responses to Peas in a Pod

  1. julespaige says:

    I think this is a story that many a man could pull from the war books. My own Father-in-law spoke little of the horrors of WWII – I am sure he felt the rule book mislaid many times. A wonderful write full of empathy. Bringing us to the joy of loving the men who did survive and remembering those who did not.

    It is fun to use prompts in unexpected ways. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. Pat says:

    This was a very well written flash fiction piece that wraps up so strongly in the ending. Your building up to the climax seems obvious, but it’s the way you have worded it – “Except, when the shooting started, when the bullets were flying, god mislaid the rulebook. Forgot we were golden. I was blessed; the other four died.” – this really delivers the punch that speaks volumes in emotions.

    Great job 🙂

  3. Very powerful story Patrick. Nicely done.

  4. Lyn says:

    Yes, it certainly does qualify for the complements. I can almost see him in the pub telling his story. A sad but very well written one.

  5. Elaine Peters says:

    Very sad, and what will have happened to so many families in war. (Just to lighten or lower the tone – you could say the other four got shelled – geddit?)

  6. Steve Lakey says:

    This story builds really well, and the finish doesn’t disappoint! 🙂

  7. Al says:

    That’s pretty intense. Well done, I really like that. A great story with such a sad ending.

  8. misskzebra says:

    Wow, this is a really great story, and you took us on quite a journey give the word count. That second to last paragraph in particular is well phrased. Good work!

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