What Happens in Elsinore

For Friday Fictioneers

The director was spitting feathers. “What the hell’s got into you two? For god’s sake. Curtain-up was delayed by eight minutes. That just shouldn’t happen.”

The two actors looked sheepish.

“Sorry, got into role too soon. Anyhow, she wanted to give back my love letters. That hurt. I got angry. Said things I now regret.”

“He first denied he had written the letters. Then tells me to go to a nunnery, that he loves me not. Asks me if I’m honest, fair. Says he won’t marry me. He’s raving mad!”

“Bloody thespians! Get thee both gone. And never again!”

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51 Responses to What Happens in Elsinore

  1. Sun says:

    smashing story, Patrick. the more drama the better. 🙂

  2. pattisj says:

    But the show must go on!

  3. I’m sure this kind of thing does go on. Nice story.

  4. Maybe there are times where someone’s so good at portraying someone else he plum sacrifices his own identity?

  5. tedstrutz says:

    Hilarious! I was in Hamlet once… 50 years ago. Spitting Feathers… I haven’t heard that one in a long time.

  6. AnnIsikArts says:

    They didn’t quite get out of character. And some actors don’t. Tricky profession. Funny. Pleasurable read. Ann

  7. Sarah Ann says:

    ‘Get the both gone. And never again.’ Great ending, but I wonder if your director protests too much. I get the sneaking suspicion he’d rather be out on stage flaunting his all. A wonderful fun take on the prompt.

    • A frustrated Player? Quite likely. I bet Hamlet has something to say about that.

      • Sarah Ann says:

        You’d know better than I. My knowledge of the bard was restricted to reading ad infinitum a single play for an English exam – and not the Danish one. I don’t know why we are forced to read what should be performed, it makes no sense and unfortunately switches some of us off for life.

  8. brainsnorts says:

    bloody thespians is right. sometimes they’re so void of personality that i think it’s why they become actors – so they can pretend to actually be someone for a while.

    to be picky – this line needs a question mark: ““What the hell’s got into you two.”

  9. Hala J. says:

    Bwahahahaha!!! This was hilarious!! Blood thespians indeed! Drama 24/7, it seems…

  10. Wow! This is like a tribute to Shakespeare. Speaking of the nunnery, some women in those days didn’t have much choice. If a father decided a daughter should go there, she went. Some did go because they felt they were called, but not all. Sometimes a woman went there after her husband died. Some powerful families with many children, felt it was a benefit to have some in the clergy.

    • This patriarchal approach was still common not all that long ago in our western societies. And still prevails in the Indian sub-continent, Middle east etc. We have a way to go next. Thanks for reading, though.

  11. AH.. yes sometimes getting to deep into a play might get you there…

  12. K.Z. says:

    haha nicely done 🙂 🙂

  13. R. E. Hunter says:

    Were they to perform “The Taming of the Shrew” by any chance? (That happens to be one of my favourites 8^).

  14. vbholmes says:

    I wanted to join in the Shakespearean fun, but to be perfectly frank, the image of the director spitting feathers overruled the words of the Bard. Too graphic.

  15. plaridel says:

    it was if the old master had written it himself. well done.

  16. Dear Patrick,

    Obviously I’m going to have to brush up on my Shakespeare. Nice one.



  17. pinchmuhbutt says:

    Can ya’ll fill me in on “The Bard?” I’m always interested in reading good stuff.

    • For starters try Twelfth Night. A good comedy with touches of pathos (Malvolio). Ignore the olde time speech and enjoy the rhythm and rhyming and the great language. Get a cheapo study guide as back up. The man’s always great to read. But if you get too into him and you start neglecting your family and your personal hygiene, please don’t blame me.
      Then Hamlet (To be or not to be) or Macbeth (Double double toil and trouble; Out damned spot).

      • pinchmuhbutt says:

        Well there’s always my job I can neglect.*lol*

        I appreciate the heads up. Though between Friday Fictioneers, the kiddos, and school, I may have to stop sleeping to read :-p

  18. Quite a few nods to the bard this week. Nicely done.

  19. What fun, Patrick! The Bard would be proud.


  20. helenmidgley says:

    Oh, that’s was smoothly done, fab 🙂

  21. This is brilliant. “Get thee to a nunnery,” has somehow always stuck with me. I’d love to use that line in my daily dialogue, just haven’t found the perfect opportunity!

  22. Sandra says:

    Am-dram personified. Nice one Patrick.

  23. Subroto says:

    These thespians can give any director a Post Dramatic Stress Disorder.

  24. Lady, should I lie in your lap?
    No, my lord.
    I mean my head upon your lap.
    Ay, my lord.
    Do you think I meant country matters?
    I think nothing, my lord.
    That’s a fair thought to sit between maid’s legs
    What is, my lord?

    Ah.. I love the language of Hamlet. The absolute soul of wit. I like how your Hamlet and Ophelia played this out.

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