The Sacred Mound

“The traditional people say that if we interfere with their sacred mound, an unbelievably large, scaly, red-horned, long-tailed being with a lower body that of a goat, will wake from its slumbers, emerge from its lair, and destroy mankind,” said Professor Lawrence of Yale University. “That is, of course, a load of bollocks.”

Later that week the first shovels dug into the mound.

Far below, deep underground, a scaly, red-horned, long-tailed being etc etc awoke, grunted, checked its calendar, and muttered, “It’s a public holiday in Belgium; I’m staying in bed.”

Soon afterwards the Professor remarked, “Told you it’s all bollocks.”

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76 Responses to The Sacred Mound

  1. julespaige says:

    Chuckle from this quarter – adore your ‘roll over’ being. Sounds like someone I’d like to meet – well at least not in destructive mode anyway 🙂

  2. Arf! Loved the potty-mouthed Yale professor.

  3. MythRider says:

    A monster with a since of humor. I wonder what kind of trouble he will cause when he does wake up.

  4. Very humorous and well written. Whew! That was close!

  5. Amy Reese says:

    Great job, Patrick. I love the etc etc part! Ha. That works well into this and the whole bit about it being bollocks. A monster is allowed a day off. Mankind, yeah whatever.

  6. Sun says:

    i bet this lazy being actively advocates for as many public holidays as possible. ha-aha!! good one, Patrick.

  7. glossarch says:

    Modern day fairy tale! I liked it!

  8. Sarah Ann says:

    LOL. I hope for the professor that there’s a public holiday somewhere in the world tomorrow. And I love that your scaly red-horned being is swayed by such things. 🙂

  9. Sounds like he has an excuse not to get up every day 😉

  10. Fortunate for earth the beasts are lazy.. thank you Belgium.

  11. Very clever Patrick, nicely done!

  12. Funny and wildly imaginative story.

  13. Bryan Ens says:

    Even monsters observe holidays! Very cool!

  14. draliman says:

    They don’t make large, scaly, red-horned etc beasties like they used to! Very enjoyable story 🙂

  15. K.Z. says:

    LOL 🙂 lazy ass devil. that was close. 🙂

  16. JackieP says:

    Well, I would stay abed too, corduroy is hard on fangs. 😉 Loved this one.

  17. subrotop says:

    Loos like we are safe on weekends too. Devil needs time off too.

  18. Dear Patrick,

    Who knew that those creatures took holidays off? This has been an educational experience for me, not just a load of bullocks. Imaginative fun. 😀

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  19. atrm61 says:

    Ha!ha!This was real fun to read Patrick-enjoyed the beast’s pov-a creature after my heart-holidays means no work at all ;-)Excellent story!

  20. Hala J. says:

    Funny!!! You know, creatures need their rest too. Besides, who says they have to always kill people who bug them? Sleep is always a better option. Your spin on the prompt was awesome!

  21. plaridel says:

    to be continued, i guess, when the creature finally gets out of bed… 🙂

  22. Lots of fun, Patrick. There are enough holidays in the world that he can relax as much as he likes. Does he get paid for holidays?

    janet

  23. R. E. Hunter says:

    Sometimes there’s some truth behind the old myths 8^).

  24. Hahaha. Must be a teenager!!!

  25. Fun piece. I enjoyed reading this.

  26. Kwadwo says:

    Quite a bit of humour there. It made me chuckle 🙂

  27. britlight says:

    Hmmm….not so much of the dogs’ bollocks then. Nice piece!

  28. Jan Brown says:

    Enjoyed this very much!!!

  29. vbholmes says:

    Now that’s fun–Howsomever, Professor Lawrence of Yale University needs a comeuppance. Will the digging continue on the morrow?

  30. Honie Briggs says:

    I like this story for a couple of reasons. I have recently been reminded how many professors think they hold the key to all knowledge. This story clearly shows they don’t. So, thank you for validating my suspicions on that. I am also encouraged to know that even scaly, red-horned, long-tailed, subterranean creatures capable of destroying mankind sometimes decide to take the day off. Most excellent piece of fiction.

    • Two of my siblings are Profs and so I can support your concerns. And I can reassure that these subterranean creatures sleep for centuries, so we’re all okay.

  31. Adam Ickes says:

    Seems reason enough to stay in bed to me. Maybe I can use it as an excuse to skip out on work tomorrow.

  32. MrBinks says:

    Better the devil you k… No I won’t do it.

  33. Chortle. I loved that, totally insane, especially bringing the corduroy wearing loons into it. Spot on.

  34. Sandra says:

    Hah! Now that really brought a grin to my face. Loved the ‘..etc…etc’. Thank you!

  35. HaHa! I hope he stays asleep!

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