Mary

I’m not sure why I killed her; it’s so long ago – fifty, sixty years? – I was only fourteen. She was what, eight? I think I read that in the paper some years later. Still a child. As I was. Eight is young to be killed. Fourteen is young to be a killer.

I weighted her body and dropped it in the middle of the bay. For the fish. And porpoises and dolphins and seals and whatever. Sharks? Anyway, it was never found. Now I want peace. I feel for her family … .

Are you getting all this down …?

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41 Responses to Mary

  1. MythRider says:

    You are so funny, or is that weird? That last line make me think he was speaking to his ghost writer. Good job. Marry Christmas.
    Phyllis

  2. If it’s a journalist he is speaking to it feels to me like he is more interested in glory than redemption.

  3. annisik51 says:

    ‘I feel for her family …’ After 50 and more years? And he doesn’t know why he did it. Great and convincing exposition of the psychopathic personality. Your character almost had me fooled! 😉

  4. Dear Patrick,

    This is just excellent from the beginning to the perfect ending line. I won’t belabor it with my impressions of what’s going on. Well done. Bravo!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  5. I loved that last line. A confession, but how many others might there be?

  6. liz young says:

    HE wants peace? He’s got no right to it however long ago it was.

  7. I’m surprised that a cute happy dolphin has inspired so many dark, or in this case outright evil, stories. It hooks you into wanting more with the last line. Nice work!

  8. Loco mente says:

    Thats really sad…
    Nice!

  9. draliman says:

    Sounds like a deathbed confession. I wonder if Mary was the only person he killed through his life?
    Nicely written.

  10. rgayer55 says:

    They say confession is good for the soul. I suppose the priest will recommend he say he few Hail Marys?

  11. The telling of events is unemotionally offhanded, which makes it extremely effective. I love the ending and the way it opens up the story to possibilities. A winner!

  12. That was chilling. I’ve studied the PCL-R in my day job and you’ve captured the shallow affect and casual grandiosity of the psychopath perfectly.

  13. I have to say — that really put me in the mood for the holiday season!

  14. This is excellent Patrick in that it creates a coldness and yet there is that sense of the need to make write a past sin.

  15. helenmidgley says:

    That was good, I loved the ending, it wasn’t what I expected 🙂

  16. kz says:

    brief and brutal — that is exactly the way to describe it. well done 🙂

  17. mike olley says:

    Dark but so real, Patrick. Great stuff.

  18. Jan Brown says:

    Oh, as much as I hated the narrator, I loved the last line! Well done!

  19. SJ O'Hart says:

    I really liked this piece – short, brutal, powerful and shocking. It does exactly what flash fiction is supposed to do. Well done! Not very festive, but very good nonetheless. 🙂

  20. Sandra says:

    This had the feel of being from the point of view of a man who had served his time, so the last line was a real shock. Nice work Patrick.

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