“Before we carry on with our induction, some formalities. Firstly, there are no toilets, for obvious reasons, and secondly, if you hear the fire bell, well, that’s the end of it for all of us. That would mean that things have gone terribly wrong.
“A few words about etiquette. As you came through the gate I heard some of you refer to the man as Pete. Not on. Verboten. He is St Peter to you, unless he says otherwise. Capisce.
“Now ahead of you is where the angels hang out, party etc. Note, until you get your wings, keep out!”